I guess we'll just have to adjust...

So...2009 is the year we grow up. Well in essence the year Spence becomes an Animation Genius and I attempt to support us both. Oh my ACTUAL God.

This is something I've been putting off for a while. I somehow equated bills and pensions and TV licenses with the death of my childhood.

I've been reluctant to excel at an office job for fear of becoming one of those people who answers their phone on the train and says "Darling, we simply MUST do lunch". Do you think those people were ever children? To me work is like joining the army. You get up early and put on a uniform and march out there to kill the enemy that you used to love, the world of the "imagination".

For the last few years I have been "temping" in various HR-type jobs. When I tell people this I get "the smile" you know where their mouths make the right shape but their eyes are saying a whole different thing.

People tend to think that I am somehow selling myself short, that because Spence is so ambitious, I have somehow closed the door on my own aspirations to allow the way for his. The truth is despite going to uni (maybe because) in all honesty I HAVE NO AMBITION CAREER-WISE. Also I am clinically lazy.

There's a great freedom in acknowledging this, putting your hands up and saying "I still don't know what I want to be yet", so for all you little pods out there who haven't found your calling yet it really is ok. Anyway, the saying "A Man is his Job" is nonsense. So half the population are therefore "memos, deadlines and pivot tables"- thrilling stuff!

But we must get jobs or we don't eat. And I am generally a fan of eating- THAT I do know. So we must all agree that this illusory world of important work and money is actually real. We must agree that it is real in order to stay motivated and out of jail.

True, it is sad and in part involves having to renounce who you really are. But we get our kicks where we can- like the glimmer when you find a kick-ass colleague (yes you, Ms Welsh) who "gets you" and helps to numb the numbness with humour. Or when you are on the commute to work and see some graffiti on a bridge saying "GO ON. CALL IN SICK". Music helps too...

Wake Up
The Arcade Fire

Somethin’ filled up
my heart with nothin’,
someone told me not to cry.

But now that I’m older,
my heart’s colder,
and I can see that it’s a lie.

Children wake up,
hold your mistake up,
before they turn the summer into dust.

If the children don’t grow up,
our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We’re just a million little god’s causin rain storms turnin’ every good thing to rust.

I guess we’ll just have to adjust.

With my lighnin’ bolts a glowin’
I can see where I am goin’ to be
when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand.

With my lighnin’ bolts a glowin’
I can see where I am goin’
With my lighnin’ bolts a glowin’
I can see where I am go-goin’

You better look out below!

So Spence, in the words of Cary Tennis, this year "We are our own saviors. We are our own heroes. And that is as it should be! We will figure it out, and on the other side of this, we will emerge beyond this bloated adolescence of ours into adulthood."